


The Unecessary Requiem

by lapsedpacifist



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Arguing, Attempt at Humor, Barbara Gordon - Freeform, Clark Kent - Freeform, Crack Treated Seriously, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Midnighter (DCU) - Freeform, One Shot, Raven (DCU) - Freeform, Resurrection, Stephanie Brown - Freeform, There's Not A Tag For That (Yet), Too Many Character To Tag Them All, grave robbing, kinda temporary character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27635266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapsedpacifist/pseuds/lapsedpacifist
Summary: Dick Grayson is dead. He really, really shouldn’t be.There are many people that want to change that.They probably should’ve talked about it between themselves instead of silently showing up to Dick’s grave with a shovel and then being surprised at the other twenty people also there with shovels of their own.At least nobody tried to claim ‘dibs’.“And if we dig him up and he has a big ‘Do Not Revive’ tattoo on his chest?” Jason asked, crossing his arms.A loud “He does not!” was immediately heard from several different directions, some more outraged than others. Then there was a lot of side eyeing at who answered and consideration of how that particular person came about that knowledge, invisible battle lines drawn through narrowed eyes.“Those aren’t actually legally binding,” Tim pointed out to many eye rolls and even a head shake from Kon.Steph snorted: “Because we are worried about legal issues here, sure.”
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Everyone
Comments: 21
Kudos: 186





	The Unecessary Requiem

"Wires connected. O, you're up."

"On it. 15 seconds. Batgirl, you— _Wait."_

Both Cass and Stephanie froze in their positions even as Canary and Huntress landed on the ground next to them.

There was no need to ask what the interruption was all about.

"The cameras were already looped, someone's already—"

"Already there," Stephanie finished. "How didn't we spot them earlier?"

"Similar ideas — invisible low tech approach, outdated sensory equipment, and so on. Let's just say nobody was expecting this."

"No shit."

It was Jason, fully dressed as the Red Hood and standing next to Arsenal and Starfire, that first acknowledged them.

"Hey!" he yelled and waved at their bush. His other hand was hiding a shovel behind his back. It was still very visible. "Girls' night out?" he asked, only to get elbowed by Roy.

Stephanie's eyes strayed to where she spotted three very familiar figures, although none of them were wearing a costume. She stood up, leaving the sack on the ground and out of sight, and with her hands on her hips asked: "Boys' night out?"

That was aimed at Damian, who only sneered at her even as Colin gasped at her. Duke, on the other hand, nodded like he'd been expecting this.

"A stroll in the park," he suggested like Steph didn't see the digging equipment laying on the ground next to their legs.

"Just like us," said Tim. He was also out of costume, which, given that he was accompanied by Kon, Cassie, and Bart, was probably for the best. They at least weren't armed with shovels, but with Kon and Cassie there, they probably didn't need them. There were, however, some suspicious bags in their arms. "And we at least have the right to be here," Tim added, pointedly staring at the next trio.

Wally scowled and crossed his arms: "Excuse me? He was my best friend for longer than he even knew you existed!"

"Well, he was my brother, which I think trumps that—"

Donna cracked her knuckles and Tim went silent. "Does it really?" she asked in a tone of voice that clearly indicated there was only one correct answer.

"I think he meant you as, you know, capes?" Jason offered.

"Hey, and what are Star and Arsenal?" a previously silent observer of an interesting shade of green said.

This was greeted by a few nods but mostly glaring silence. "Yeah, man," Cyborg stepped up to support Beast Boy, "literally everyone here's a superhero."

"I'm not," Jason said, narrowing his eyes. "Do you wanna see why?"

"Jason," Kory said as she placed a hand on his shoulder, but her eyes were glowing green in a clear warning for others to back off.

"We're not here to fight," Raven quickly intervened, pulling back Victor and Garfield. "Like it has been said. We're here for a walk."

Damian just had to be included at all times. "At midnight?" he asked, doubt clear in his voice. "In Gotham? In a cemetery?"

But Raven simply lifted an eyebrow. "I like cemeteries," she said. "They remind me of Azarath."

Somehow nobody called her bluff.

"Alright," Wally finally said, "if you're all here on a walk, why is nobody walking?"

"Hey, you're not walking either," Tim pointed out.

"Yeah, but I didn't say I was here for a walk."

They stared at each other, both more than ready to throw down right then and there. Tim's hand was straying to his pocket even as Wally started to almost vibrate in place. But Tim was stopped by Kon's firm hand and Wally was pulled back by Garth. Had they not, Cass landing between them would have. "Not. Here." She haltingly said, but her voice echoed through the group. "Not. Now."

"Like she said," Steph nodded, now approaching the others, followed by Dinah and Helena. "Not today."

"Sentimentality does not become you, Fatgirl," Damian sneered, but she could see he agreed with her.

"Besides—"

He was interrupted by a voice that had half of the heroes internally groaning as soon as they heard it: "What a lovely, eh, get together?"

"O, we're compromised," Stephanie whispered, knowing fully well there was no way the man hadn't heard her.

But he — and his companion — gave no indication of that or anything similar.

"Tell my father he better try and stop me himself, because I am more than ready for you!" Damian said, already shifting into an attack position. Although what exactly the little twerp was planning on doing without his armour was uncertain.

Jason didn' seem to have the same problem: "See, idiots, that's why some of us think ahead." He took out a gun and pointed it at the newcomers: "Kryptonite bullets. Just try me."

Superman, because of course it was him, even if he was wearing ordinary clothes and his glasses, didn't seem to be too worried. "You think you can hit me?" he only asked.

Jason just smiled: "I can try. And if I fail, I think we have enough speedsters here to succeed."

Both Bart and Wally nodded as Kon cracked his neck in preparation.

"Ha, you're funny," Supergirl said, also dressed in civvies. "Now I really wanna try."

This time it was Tim that was calming people down. "No fighting! So, what, Bats didn't send you?"

Superman just shrugged. "He's still on a mission. Wonder Woman, Zatanna, and Hawkman are making sure he's busy."

"And... you walked here," Tim realised.

"No capes."

"Sure..." This was Donna. "Let me guess, a midnight stroll?”

“Godness, it’s already midnight?” Nobody was fooled.

“But if you’re not here because B sent you,” Jason said, “then what _are_ you doing here?”

“Like I said, just—”

They were interrupted by a portal opening right in front of the grave. It was square and swirling yellow and gold and had most of the heroes going into defensive positions, with both Wally and Bart changing into their costumes. Steph couldn’t even begin to guess where Damian had hidden that sword — sorry, katana? — he had just pulled out. Garfield changed into what looked like a jaguar and blackness began rising around Raven. The water in the nearby pond was vibrating and moving in waves despite there being no wind, but a simple look at Garth standing next to a snarling Donna with her lasso already in her hands resolved that mystery.

Duke and Colin had smartly taken a step back, now positioned behind the Outlaws, all with their weapons drawn and aimed at the rectangle and the two people now stepping through.

Steph did _not_ whistle at the skintight white and gold suit the taller, blond man was wearing. The other one was dressed in all black leather and snarling right back at the heroes surrounding them.

“O?” she whispered again.

“Midnighter, Apollo; Stormwatch association. Authority. Hm. Not a threat.”

She licked her lips. “Alright.”

A simple nod to Cass was enough for both of them to relax.

“Hello,” she greeted the newcomers.

The one dressed in all black — probably Midnighter then — looked at her, then his gaze swept over the assembled heroes. He smiled at the various pieces of equipment scattered around on the ground.

“I see we weren’t the only ones with the idea,” he said. “Or has grave robbing suddenly become a very popular hobby?”

The man next to him, Apollo, and yes, the name fit very well indeed, gently nudged him. “Do _not_ annoy the many armed and superpowered people surrounding us, _please._ I am _not_ ripping another suit.”

“Oh, but you know how much I love it when you—”

The rest was undecipherable under Apollo’s hand over Midnighter’s mouth. “He apologizes,” Apollo lied. “But I do think we’re all here for the same reason.”

“We are not!” Damian protested and took a step back, directly into their assemblage of digging equipment that subsequently loudly clanged. Damian simply glared at everyone staring at him, daring them to contradict him.

“What were you even planning on doing with him?” Jason finally cracked. “I can guess what the Demon Brat was thinking, it’s kinda obvious. Lazarus pits, same as us. And maybe the Replacement--”

“Still not funny—”

“—has the same idea, but the rest of you?”

Some shuffling, muttered words, until Cyborg — sorry, Victor — and Raven exchanged a glance. Raven spoke up: “Apokolips tech and magic. We’re fairly sure we can work out something.”

“Garden tech,” Midnighter revealed through his released mouth. _“Definitely_ works.”

“Fortress of Solitude.”

“Speedforce and uhm, Amazonian healing— plus Gods’, uhm, … Atlantean magic...”

“What he said. But _our_ plan is actually going to work.”

“First cryofreeze, then the process,” Steph finally revealed her (Oracle’s) team’s plan. It was slightly less finalised than some others, but definitely more developed that certain ‘it could maybe work’ solutions.

“And if we dig him up and he has a big ‘Do Not Revive’ tattoo on his chest?” Jason asked, crossing his arms.

A loud “He does not!” was immediately heard from several different directions, some more outraged than others. Then there was a lot of side eyeing at who answered and consideration of how that particular person came about that knowledge, invisible battle lines drawn through narrowed eyes.

“Those aren’t actually legally binding,” Tim pointed out to many eye rolls and even a head shake from Kon. 

Steph snorted. “Because we are worried about _legal_ issues here.”

This didn’t exactly elicit the laughs it could’ve, but it did slightly relax the atmosphere.

“I can’t believe we all picked the same time, though,” Wally said. “I mean, what are the odds?”

He went suspiciously quiet, probably calculating them. But Donna was already shaking her head: “No, it makes sense.”

Superman nodded too: “It’s the first time after the funeral that Bats left the manor for longer than an hour, and it’s at night too.”

“If not now then when?” Midnighter shrugged. “Not that I’m scared of Batman. I could take him.”

“So could we,” Donna said, unimpressed.

“And us,” Jason and Roy high-fived, with Kory simply tilting her head and nodding.

“I could certainly defeat father, even without Signal and Abuse!” declared Damian. Duke’s eyebrows immediately went up, proving he’d been very much uninformed of the Brat’s plan to take on the fucking Batman.

“And us too!” Supergirl proclaimed, offering a fist bump to Superman who rather awkwardly bumped it. “He can _think_ he has us beat all he likes, but I can def kick his ass!”

“So could Cass,” Steph pointed out. “And she would do it alone, too.” There was general murmur of agreement with Cass herself nodding and accepting a thumbs up from Tim with a wave.

“Any more posturing or can we finally get on with it?” Raven asked, clearly unimpressed by the posturing.

“Super strength, telekinesis, you guys dig him up. We ain’t gonna bother with shovels if we have you guys here.”

There was only a small argument between the supers and the wonders about who exactly would be the digging party. By the time they resolved it (Superman, Donna, and Starfire were the victors), Raven and Garth had half the earth removed already.

“But did we decide on who’s taking him?” Steph asked Oracle in panic.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get that figured out before they finish.”

“I feel kind of redundant,” Steph admitted.

“You and the other twenty people.”

Steph quickly did a headcount. Yep, that many people were standing around watching the five that were actually digging. “Holy shit,” she said. “When B finds out he’s gonna _freak.”_

“What makes you think— No. You know what? I agree. Good thing we got good camera coverage, I’m saving this.”

“Don’t forget to show it to Dick once he gets back. He’s gonna love it.”

“I… That might not be the best idea, actually. I don’t want him finding out just how he can get all of you together without fighting.”

**Author's Note:**

> In which everyone assumes that Bruce wouldn't approve of what they were doing so they keep him distracted the best they can.
> 
> While he happily lets them distract him and tells Alfred to invite them in for tea once they're finished.


End file.
